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We had no obligations and no pressure from our families or the church.

We were just Chris and RJ, on our own, and loving every minute of it.

After some time, we faced the reality that we would eventually have to go home.

I drove into Salt Lake, Chris's hometown.

We agreed to take care of our respective loose ends, and he talked about transferring to Boise State with me.

We kissed and said goodbye, and I went home to Idaho Falls.

I never saw him again.

I sent letters I'd call, and nothing.

If only I knew what happened to him, then maybe I'd have some closure.

These days I live in Seattle. I'm neither Mormon nor Gentile.

I was never formally excommunicated.

I just stopped associating myself with the church at all.

But I still wear my temple garments.

I still have a food storage.

And I still have a deep love for our Heavenly Father.

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